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It had been too long since I've had a holiday...

About 3 years now. I kept working, I kept following a goal patiently, I kept constructing short-term plans... Patiently I was trying to get over a huge crisis. I had really hard days, I had lost the hope totally. I event went to the obligatory army for 6 months just with the hope of clearing my head a little, but of course the army didn't help at all. When I got back all I realised was that I was left behind! The time had passed, everyone had their own progress, things had changed but I was in the army doing nothing productive.

When I got back I had huge plans, long-term mind sets. Yet the crisis had not changed in my life. So I had to make a new way. I was (and still am) a copywriter in worldwide advertising agencies. But the point is: I hate it! So the plan was to be a freelance photographer at the same time. I had to get a new camera. I had to create a new portfolio. I had to grab the bull by the horns!

Now.. I made it. At least I have a starting point. My portfolio is not enough, my dreams are too big, my plan is too long. But I have it. I have a plan. I have the balls to follow it too.
But... The crisis. Yeah they are financial mostly. Honestly, it's really difficult; the path.

So I had to be a copywriter again and I did it. I put up with it.
I had to buy a new camera and I did it.

And finally, 10 days ago, I went touring Europe for 10 days. I finally made it happen. Provence - Paris - Berlin - Amsterdam! We had a bless together with my girlfriend.
Was it enough? Of course not.
That's not the point.

The point is: I remembered my old days... The days when I was a student back in Brighton, the crazyville. I loved it out there...
So now I've got even a bigger problem: I have to leave this advertising business shit behind me as soon as I can. It's sucking my whole energy so badly! I need to get out there, do more photo shootings, get a better portfolio, do some personal projects and get my name out there! I have to act quicker cause now I've realised how my life used to be before all this happened...

No it's not gonna be easy. Especially with the financial status. Yet I have to do this! I need to be a better photographer! I need to accomplish that so that I can leave behind all theese 3 years full of misery and uncertanity and all... Can my loved ones bear with me? I hope so..

It's not gonna be easy, yet no-one knows how hard it can ever be...
I hope I can make it happen soon enough so that I can again find my peace with my own.

cheers

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